Against All Orders
by oldmoviewatcher
Summary: Seeing her new husband off at the station a week later, Margaret tells herself not to cry. Calling her father, she tells him she is going to apply as a M*A*S*H nurse again adding, "I just have one favor. I need you to make sure my husband is put in the same unit I am." Al ecstatically agrees before yelling, "Husband?" A retelling of Of All the Camps in All of Korea.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my retelling of Off All the Camps in All of Korea.**

 **Enjoy!**

Stepping off the plane, Margaret Houlihan and her father gather their belongings, hail a cab, and head to a hotel General Al Houlihan's friend is staying at. Three years after the Second World War and only six months state side, Margaret is finally getting used to civilian life. And, as of 1948 is attending an Army Navy game with her father and his friend. The three joyfully root for their team and after attending the game, Al's friend proposes they all go out for dinner. Margaret declines a dinner invitation and ventures on her own through the city. Finally, taking in the scenery of Central Park, Margaret barely registers the wind take her hat off.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A male voice asks her. She turns to find a pair of blue eyes staring down at her and a dazzling smile on his face. Instantly, Margaret smiles back as she explains, "I was just admiring the park. I've never been to New York before."

"I've only made it down here a few times, myself. How do you like it?"

Margaret shrugs. "There's less French."

Noticing his confused expression, the blonde explains, "I was stationed in France during the last war. I was a nurse there. I just got stateside about six months ago."

The blue eyed man smirks, "I'm a doctor. There's a medical conference in town that I'm currently avoiding. Some pompous surgeon is giving a boring, opinionated lecture."

A small break ensues until the doctor announces, "I think your hat flew off" He states as he extends his hat holding, gloved hand toward her. Margaret smiles and takes the hat. Thanking him, the army nurse puts the hat back on, but not before the blue eyed doctor rights an errant blonde strand of her hair. Stepping away, the doctor gives his name. Margaret gives hers just as her new friend motions toward the bench. They sit down as he asks, "What brings you to New York?"

Sitting beside him, Margaret answers, "The Army Navy Game. My father's friend had tickets."

"Army or Navy?"

"Sorry?"

"Who did you root for?" He clarifies. A wide grin plays on the blonde's face as she answers, "Army."

Finding a small cafe, the couple continues to talk well into the morning. Realizing the time, Margaret excuses herself, but not before giving the man her address.

"I'd give you my phone number, but I don't want you to pay long distance," She apologizes. Grinning, the doctor answers, "As long as you promise to visit on New Year's. My dad and I are throwing a huge party to ring it in!"

Confused, Margaret states, "It's only going to be 1949."

"Yeah, the last year of the 1940s!"

Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "Just as long as you pick me up from the airport."

Over the next year, the pair trades letters and get together as often as they can. Somehow their relationship continues to work despite the distance. In May, Margaret takes a flight to her boyfriend's home. As soon as she disembarks onto the tarmac, she finds her boyfriend waiving to her. Smiling, Margaret heads over to him and receives a generous kiss.

"What was that for?" She asks with a flirtatious smile. He grins down at her with an equally flirtatious grin answering, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

The rest of the week the pair spends their time happily engrossed in each other going to the movies or simply staying at his home. One night, the couple spends time listening to a radio program when the doctor's father tells the man that there is a telegram for him. Curious, Margaret watches her boyfriend leave the room and soon hears him yelling from the hallway about being drafted.

"What?" She exclaims. Still shocked, Margaret's boyfriend explains, "Right here in black and white: 'You are hereby directed to present yourself for Armed Forces Physical Examination' etcetera, etcetera! Margaret! I've been drafted!"

The blonde quickly takes hold of the letter and scans through it. Swallowing, Margaret whispers, "This is dated for next week!"

The new draftee sighs in frustration. Finally, he looks intently at his girlfriend and seriously asks, "Margaret, will you marry me?"

The blonde stutters, "But my job?"

"Hang your job!" the man exclaims before recomposing himself. "Just think about it? I'll be leaving in a week anyway. For all anyone knows you're a nurse who is engaged or has a very serious boyfriend."

Unable to say no, and knowing the ravages of war, Margaret agrees to the marriage. This may be the only chance she gets to marry him.

Seeing her new husband off at the station a week later, Margaret tells herself not to cry. Calling her father once she gets back to the house, she tells him she is going to apply as a M*A*S*H nurse again. Her father congratulates her, but Margaret makes sure to add, "I just have one favor. I need you to make sure my husband is put in the same unit I am."

"Fine, fine!" Al ecstatically agrees before yelling, "Husband?"

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	2. Chapter 2

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Stepping into camp, a tall doctor takes stock of where his orders place him. Amid the dirt and army green tents displaying the number of his MASH unit, the man manages to stumble his way to the Colonel's office where a short be-speckled kid asks who he is.

"Hawkeye Pierce," The man replies before correcting himself. "My papers will say Benjamin F. Pierce."

The younger man looks at the roster of names and leads him to a tent with four bunks.

"Captain Pierce? This is Trapper," The clerk explains.

"Thanks Radar," Trapper states hoping this man is nothing like his other bunk mate. "Welcome to The Swamp."

Hawkeye smiles at the name, thinking the name suits his messy, new abode. Trapper lets Radar leave and begins to show his bunk mate around the camp. Walking around and getting the Grand Tour, as Trapper calls it, Hawkeye jerks his head when he sees a certain blonde nurse walk by. Laughing, Trapper replies, "That's Major Margaret Houlihan. She's head nurse. Careful though, she's taken by old Ferret Face over there."

"Yeah, what's he like?" Hawkeye asks trying to keep any confusion from his voice. Shrugging, Trapper replies, "Dull? Lifeless? Our other bunk mate. His real name's Frank. He's a major, too. I got a feeling the majors like to stick together."

Nodding, Hawkeye watches Margaret laugh at something Frank says. Smirking, Hawkeye motions Trapper to follow him before he catches the Majors' attention. Stunned, Margaret stands with her mouth open as Frank asks, "Who are you?"

Ignoring his bunk mate, Hawkeye extends his hand to the nurse. She takes it, and is soon locked in a seering kiss. Pulling back, Margaret whispers, "Hi."

"How dare you!" Frank exclaims thoroughly upset by the new doctor's unprofessionalism. Trapper nearly falls to the ground laughing. He and Hawkeye are going to have fun. Letting go of his wife, Hawkeye glances quickly at Frank before winking at Margaret and walking away.

"It's okay, Frank," Margaret replies cooly as she stalks off with the other Major. Out of earshot from the two surgeons, Frank asks, "That's your husband?"

The blonde nods as her friend adds, "He's very easy on the eyes."

Margaret merely laughs at the comment before excusing herself to her tent. Called into surgery by the PA system, Margaret leaves her half written letters and heads to the scrub room. While ordering her nurses, the head nurse makes sure to keep an eye on her husband during his first surgery. Once the O.R. is cleaned up, Margaret makes her way toward Post Op, and hears what sounds like vomiting. Curious, the nurse rounds the corner of the middle wing of the building to find her husband wiping his mouth. Putting her hand on his back, he stiffens a little before relaxing into his wife's touch knowing they will be few and far between.

"Are you okay?" She asks. Turning toward her, Hawkeye snaps, "I just got out of the worst surgery session known to man and now I can't seem to keep my lunch down. What do you think?"

Nodding slightly, Margaret runs her hand down his arm before telling him to get some rest. He nods mutely before walking away from the building wondering how he will cope with the rest of the war if he feels sick on day one.

The pair pass notes like teenagers their first few days of camp together in order to finalize their charade. Already cementing her role as a demanding head nurse, Margaret makes sure to ally herself with Frank who through his own secrets has become as Army as possible. Hawkeye, reluctantly asking his wife's blessing, becomes the camp bachelor. Creating their own code, the couple tries be as cautious as possible in their notes, but Margaret wants to be extra careful no one figures out about who her new family is. Writing her father in law, she asks him to sign his letters D.P. or simply send her letters through Hawkeye.

As the weeks continue, Margaret and Hawkeye catch sight of each other every so often and trade their feelings via barbs and innuendo. Having read the other's letters, both know they are in charge of their own ruse. Unfamiliar with her husband's womanizing, the ease in which he performs his charade is rather disconcerting. However, the pair continues to pretend causing Margaret to become as by the book as she can. If no one can get close to her, no one will know her secret. Any time the couple can, they spend together until their marriage turns into a bizarre Romeo and Juliet situation with death included. Almost as if they are regressing in their marriage instead of progressing. They get the slightest reprieve when the 4077 roots for his or her own team during the Army Navy game that winter causing Hawkeye to comment to Margaret during surgery, "I wish I'd seen you at the 1948 one."

"You saw me after," She teases before being called to another patient. Only having a morning surgery, the camp is ecstatic to have the day off to relax. Preparing to spend the day with Margaret, Hawkeye is upset when Colonel Blake calls them into his office. Any lingering happiness is bombarded by an undetinated bomb that lands in camp. With Hawkeye and Trapper being the less than willing participants in detonating the bomb, the men listen closely to Colonel Blake's directions and take no notice to Frank and Margaret's company. After the scare is over, Hawkeye goes to find his wife who immediately hugs him once he enters her tent.

"Don't do that again'," Margaret orders when she steps away to fully assess any injuries he may have.

"I'll try not to," Hawkeye dryly answers as Margaret examines his hands. Holding onto her hands, the surgeon reassures her that he is fine before asking her how her charade with Frank is going adding, "He seems to be your shadow lately."

Sighing, Margaret states, "I'm his only friend here."

"Well, if he didn't tout Army regulations by the minute, he may be able to make friends."

Shaking her head, the nurse answers, "It's not that easy, Hawk."

"Sure it is," Hawkeye answers trying to figure out where his wife is going with this whole spiel. Pursing her lips, Margaret desperately tries to keep Frank's secret knowing how devastated the man will be if it gets out. Shaking her head, the nurse answers, "Just go easy on him?"

Nodding, Hawkeye kisses Margaret and answers, "I can't make any promises."

Seeing Frank on his way out, Hawkeye greets him as Frank replies, "What business is it of yours?"

Entering Margaret's tent, Frank asks what Hawkeye was doing there. Shrugging, Margaret replies, "Telling me who won the Army Navy Game."

Nodding Frank looks around the tent to make sure no one is spying when he whispers, "Did you tell him about me?"

Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "No. I just told him to be nice to you. How is Louis?"

Relaxing, Frank tells her everything his boyfriend writes to him. With a smile, the nurse states, "He really misses you."

A small laugh escapes the soldier as he replies, "I'm just glad Louise doesn't know. She's been convinced that I'm cheating on her with you, which is nice."

Annoyed by his callousness, Margaret narrows her eyes and tells him to leave. Sometimes she forgets how much lying can hurt, but at least she has not been doing it all her life.

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	3. Chapter 3

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As the months go by, the married continues to pretend disdain toward the other albeit Hawkeye's occasional kissing the head nurse until six months into the war when almost the whole camp comes down with the flu.

"'Hi, dear. Having a tough day at the office?'" Hawkeye teases once they are one of the few of the medical unit left.

"'Just filling out the daily report'," Margaret answers. Unceremoniously, Hawkeye hands over more papers. "'Add these. Pints of blood used. Pints of blood needed. Progress of cases reports. And on page six, you'll find my resignation. If you skip every other word, you'll see it's also a suicide note.

"'Don't be facetious'," Margaret chastises not wanting to think of her husband dying in the middle of a war. Shrugging, Haweye answers, "'All right, then I'll go home as a deserter, in chains, anything.'"

"'That will do, Captain'," His wife replies as Hawkeye continues, "'I don't care. I'm getting out of here. And I'm taking you with me, Margaret. We'll send for Frank later.'"

"'Can I interest you in a little Have you examined the flu patients? Frank's temp is up'," Margaret explains hoping to end her husband's prattling. Playing along, Hawkeye gives the vitals of Henry and Trapper.

"'I'm gonna sack out. You want anything from me before I go? I'm yours'," Hawkeye adds. Knowing this may be her only chance, Margaret tells him she has a serum that may prevent the flu before explaining, "'It's experimental.'"

With a laugh, Hawkeye replies, "'Classic army thinking: Locking the barn after the horse has the flu.'"

Ignoring his joke, Margaret advises, "'It may help. We ought to immunize each other.'"

Smirking, Hawkeye exclaims, "'Margaret, another dream come true.'"

"'I think we ought to give each other injections'," His wife clarifies causing Hawkeye to immediately explain, "'I'm no good with a needle. I never have been.'"

"'I can take it'," The nurse replies realizing what they are doing is frowned upon in the States due to their marriage. Taking the vial, Hawkeye asks his wife where she wants her shot. Too tired to play games, Margaret answers, "'In my arm.'"

"'Party pooper'," He teases as he sticks Margaret with the needle. She lets out a shout as he defends, "'Told you I was lousy.'"

As an afterthought, Hawkeye adds, "'Maybe we are in a movie. You're Bette Davis and I'm George Brent. You do me.'"

Professionally, Margaret states, "'Roll up your sleeve.'"

When her husband objects, the nurse asks, "'What do you mean, "uh-uh"?' Someone could walk in.'"

"'I want mine in my tushy'," Hawkeye explains making Margaret question her husband's real age. Still confused, she asks, "'You what?'"

"'Derriere.'" Hawkeye explains, "'The back of my front. The fleshy part. I can't take pain. I can only give it.'"

Rolling her eyes, Margaret states, "'All right. Lower your trousers.'"

"'I thought you'd never ask.'" He teases as Margaret adds, "'Only as far as you have to. You're just loving this, aren't you?'"

"'Aren't you?'" Hawkeye questions unable to see the small smirk on his wife's face. Instead she states, "'Let me get at your hip.'"

"'Anytime, darling'," Her husband replies just as Radar walks in, "'Sir? Excuse me. I'm sorry.'"

The now traumatized clerk backs out of the office as Margaret jabs the needle into her husband's flesh. Shocked, Hawkeye explains, "'Ow! Margaret, that was fantastic.'"

"'Fine'," Margaret answers as she caps the needle to dispose of it and wishing to take a nap somewhere without her husband. She loves him, but hours with sick patients is grating her nerves. Ever the jokester, Hawkeye adds one more barb as he pulls his pants back on, "'I hope you realize this means we're engaged.'''

Unable to resist his teasing any longer, Margaret caves and smiles at him asking, "You mean married?"

They lean in just as the office door opens. Shocked to see their CO, the couple quickly breaks apart.

"'Well, Mr. and Mrs. 4077 th at home, in my office'," Henry complains. The surgeon and nurse question why the man is walking around before he is soon back in his bed. Every so often, the couple finds themselves alone, but it is usually to take the smallest of naps. They find themselves once again in the CO's office knowing it is one of the quietest places in the camp with easy access to patients. Rubbing his neck as he sits down in the chair, Hawkeye states, "Remind me not to give us a camp full of kids."

"I'll make sure of it," Margaret smirks before kissing her husband and sitting on the desk. She wants to sit in the chair with him, but stops herself in case someone else walks in. Just as she suspects, they are pulled into post op a few minutes later. While tending to Frank and Trapper, Margaret and Hawkeye are told there are wounded. Trapper insists he can help, but Hawkeye easily talks his friend out of performing surgery. Instead he informs Radar to get blood from anyone he can. About to head off, Margaret stops the clerk. Ignoring his wife, Hawkeye orders Radar, "'Tell them you're acting under the direct orders of General Clayton.'"

Insulted that no one will listen to her, Margaret yells, "'Just one moment, Captain!'"

"'Radar, go'," Hawkeye orders.

"'Stay!'" Margaret insists as Hawkeye battles, "'I said go!'"

"'And I said stay!'" Margaret exclaims. Breaking the stalemate, Radar replies, "'She outranks you. She's got more things on her uniform.'"

"'She's got more things in her uniform, but go'," Hawkeye orders. Looking at Margaret, Radar apologizes before leaving. Angry, Margaret asks, "'I thought we understood that I am administration.'"

"'Let me tell you something, administration'," Hawkeye begins, "'You know that little shot you gave me for the flu?'"

"'Yes'," Margaret replies.

"'Well it worked, I got it'," Hawkeye states as his wife asks, "'Are you sure?'"

"'I've got enough nausea to light up the city of Toledo, okay? First I'm hot, then I'm cold, and my knees are in business for themselves. My tongue has gone cashmere, and I'd like to find an all night latrine that takes servicemen. Now, have I got the flu or am I just in love?'" He questions knowing the last comment will calm her down. Now concerned, Margaret asks, "'Do you think you can operate?'"

Still left with a bit of humor, Hawkeye sarcastically replies, "'I've got to. What am I going to tell the casualties? To stop bleeding until I feel better?'"

Hawkeye watches his wife take out a thermometer from her pocket.

"'I want to see if you have a fever'," She states.

"'Oh, trust me. I've got fever to burn'," Hawkeye admits.

"'I'm worried about you, Doctor'," Margaret admits, worried now as a wife rather than a colleague.

They cannot be careless so close to the operating room and Post Op, but manage to convey their feelings anyway. Quickly, Hawkeye realizes his wife is worrying about just him and not his operating abilities. Touched, the surgeon asks, "'You really are, aren't you? You know all those rotten things I've said to you, all those nasty little tricks I've played on you?'"

"'Yes'," Margaret answers wondering where her husband's flu addled brain will go. With a smirk, he tells her, "'I'd like to get well and do them all over again.'"

As they operate, Margaret keeps an eye on both the patient and her husband and asks, "'How do you feel?'"

"'I have this terrific thirst for embalming fluid'," Hawkeye jokes. Unphased by his humor, the nurse specifically asks, "'Are you gonna make it?'"

"'That's up to you, Margaret'," Hawkeye answers honestly knowing his wife can do most of the work by now. Astounded at his ability to work while close to delirious, Margaret gushes slightly, "'You're incredible. As sick as you are, digging into someone's gut, and you still can proposition a nurse.'"

"'I've endowed a dirty old man to make a pass at you two years after I'm dead. It's in my will'," Hawkeye replies as he continues to operate before relinquishing the patient over to Margaret.

"'You close the skin'," Hawkeye tells her. Soon Father Mulcahey comes into the operating room, Hawkeye soon coaches the two of them into finishing the procedure. The lucid part of his brain thinks this moment is perfect to kiss his wife on the cheek. He will simply blame it on the fever. Instead, he sees Radar come in with blood. Thankful they can have transfusions, Hawkeye directs Radar where to go before telling him, "'Radar, you'll be assisting Margaret Houlihan, nurse, friend and all around good egg.'"

After his last declaration, the surgeon leaves the OR to find a place to sleep off the flu. Staring at the head nurse, Radar silently questions Hawkeye's compliment. Deflecting, Margaret replies, "'He's very sick.'"

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	4. Chapter 4

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A week later, the nurses ship out of camp due to a potential attack. The last one to get into the vehicle, Margaret says good bye to each of the surgeons by rank. Stopping at Hawkeye, she remarks, "'Captain'."

"'Major'," Hawkeye answers before locking her in a kiss.

"'Colonel!'" Frank whines prompting Henry to passively tell Hawkeye to stop. After another second, Hawkeye lets go and Margaret gets on the truck with her nurses. Thankfully any teasing is stopped by her no nonsense demeanor and command.

Left alone, Hawkeye and Trapper sit in the officer's club that night upset by the lack of women.

"'Boy do I miss my wife'," Trapper states as he watches the barkeep walk away to get their drinks.

"'So do I'," Hawkeye commiserates before quickly adding, "'I don't even know your wife and I miss her.'"

Disliking the idea of his friend missing his wife, Trapper replies, "'I'll miss my wife. You miss my mother.'"

Going into surgery the next day, the men realize how much the nurses actually do. At one point during an operation, Trapper remarks, "'If Hot Lips were here right now, I'd kiss her feet.'"

Trying to keep himself from telling his friend that he can take Margaret's mother so he can miss his wife, Hawkeye asks, "'And bump into Frank coming around the toe?'"

Finally finished with surgery, Trapper and Hawkeye soon realize they do not hear Frank's whining, so when the men see Radar in the compound, they eagerly accept the invitation to listen to Frank and Margaret's phone conversation. Always curious about what his wife and Frank's relationship is like, Hawkeye eagerly listens to the exchange until it becomes too much for him. As the pair counts to three in order to hang up, Trapper and Hawkeye quickly say 'three' with them. Margaret, upset over her husband's eavesdropping and knowing there is nothing she can do, tells Frank to chase after them.

The next morning when the nurses come back after an uneventful leaflet bombing, Hawkeye makes sure to give an extra salute to his wife so Frank can spend time with her, as much as he hates it. Jumping into the truck with the nurses, Hawkeye makes a mental note to ask about his wife's and Frank's actual relationship. Doing so that night, Margaret laughs at him asking if he is jealous.

"No," Hawkeye answers uncomfortably, "I just need to know if I should worry."

Shaking her head, Margaret walks toward her husband and reassures him that there is no competition while snaking her arms around him.

"Besides," She adds, "I like my men tall with dark hair."

"You should have told me sooner, and I would've taken you to see that Rudolph Valentino picture that was playing the other day. It was the only thing silent in camp," Hawkeye teases. Rolling her eyes, Margaret asks how the men were without her.

"Awful," Hawkeye answers before kissing his wife. After a moment they decide to break apart to divert suspicion.

With a barrage of casualties one afternoon, almost everyone is tired or too engrossed in their particular surgery to reprimand Margaret's acting as a tyrannical supervisor to her nurses. She is rather annoyed with herself at her remarks, but decides no one can be happy on the six month anniversary of her wedding if she is not allowed to be. Usually she finds the idea of counting the months preposterous, but in a war, Margaret will allow the nicety. The OR buzzes with orders and surgical instruments, but no voice is louder than Margaret's newest patronizing remarks toward her nurses. Annoyed by his wife's behavior, Hawkeye jumps in, "'And I'd like to make an announcement! Major Houlihan and I are getting married! Right sugar?'"

"'What?" She yells afraid their secret will be exposed, "'We are not!'"

"'Then go ahead and have the baby alone.'"

Needless to say, their banter goes with an eye roll rather than an eyebrow raise. Hours later, the Chief Surgeon and Head Nurse are the last two out of the OR. As Margaret takes off Hawkeye's mask, the surgeon apologizes for his comment from earlier.

"You're just lucky no one believes us," Margaret replies throwing her surgical gown into the hamper. He hums in agreement as he takes off the rest of his scrubs and throws them in with hers. Turning toward the nurse, he smiles his trademark smile, but the glint in his eyes is a little different compared to how he stares at the other nurses.

"I miss you at night," Hawkeye admits while they are still alone. Smirking, Margaret answers, "It's almost been six months. I still keep waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Me, too," The surgeon replies. "I'm still surprised they stuck us here together."

Smoothing his hair, Margaret answers, "It helps that the army doesn't know we're married."

"Gotta hand it to good ole Dad, huh?" Hawkeye teases knowing his father- in- law is the cause for their joint posting.

"Yes, we do," She gushes still intent on pleasing her father. Hawkeye smiles down at his wife happy to see the side of her that he falls in love with peeking through her facade. Finally he states, "I think Frank is making you angry. You could've sent your nurses packing with your tone alone."

Margaret merely rolls her eyes knowing she is unable to explain the complexities of her and Frank's relationship. Instead, she replies, "He is annoying sometimes, but why don't you try to befriend him?"

"Me? You know how much he hates me and Trap," Hawkeye teases as he places a strand of hair behind his wife's ear.

"You did that the day we met. Remember?" Margaret asks with a teasing smile remembering how the wind swept her hair out of place and sent her hat flying into Central Park.

"Yeah, only this time I can't take you to dinner," Her husband remarks.

"No, but you can kiss me," Margaret replies eager to have a stolen moment with her husband. Hawkeye smiles knowing this may be the only time they get to be alone for a while.

"Major?" Radar calls out a moment later as he comes near the scrub room. Hawkeye and Margaret quickly separate before the company clerk can see them.

"Thank- you for that clarification, Doctor," Margaret begins just as Radar comes inside asking for her.

"You're wanted in Post Op, Ma'am," Radar states unaware of the couple's dalliance.

"Thank- you, Corporal," The nurse responds before breezing into post op. As she makes her rounds, the nurse hears footsteps and is rather upset that Frank is the surgeon on duty that night. As much as she values the friendship, he tends to leech onto her.

"Hello, Margaret," Frank whines as the nurse jots down a note on a patient's medical sheet.

"Frank," She replies with little fanfare as she starts checking another clipboard. All she wants is time alone. Preferably with her husband, but knows keeping Frank around will divert suspicion. The rest of the night, Margaret passes her time in Post Op trying to figure out how to ditch Frank. Less than a year, and the now one sided friendship is beginning to wane. She only agrees to befriend Frank because they are both hiding secrets. Her marriage and his sexuality make them the perfect pair to be or pretend to be Regular Army. Granted, no one else knows about the secrets. Instead, she lets Frank find solace in her tent and complain about whatever his boyfriend writes him about. Finally sick of his constant complaints about Louis, or Louise to the camp, Margaret finally unleashes her own complaints about an old friend who has everything she could have, yet the army takes away. By the end of the day, she decides that the best thing to do for her marriage is transfer units.

Nearly drinking herself into oblivion a day later due to her impulsive decision, Margaret is barely aware of Trapper and Hawkeye taking her to the showers. As a steady stream of water drenches his wife's fully clothed body, Hawkeye is almost flattered when she makes a pass at him. However, he realizes she is sobering a little when she has the foresight to tell him that she is hitting on Trapper. Both surgeons exchange glances knowing Margaret will forget all of this by morning. She does, and Hawkeye merely sits back and watches Trapper tease Margaret feeling a bit of vindication since his wife chooses not to consult him before leaving him. Knocking on her tent door later that night, Hawkeye waits to be let in. When Margaret opens the door, her husband instantly asks, "Why didn't you tell me you wanted a transfer?"

"Hawkeye, keep your voice down!" The nurse hisses. Fully entering the tent and letting the door close, Hawkeye asks in a normal tone, "Is this better?"

Margaret opens her mouth to reply when Hawkeye cuts her off.

"How could you simply decide to get a transfer? After all that your dad did to stick us together?" Hawkeye questions before lowering his tone. "Do you want a divorce?"

Shocked, Margaret answers, "No! Of course not! I just thought if I left, we wouldn't have to pretend anymore."

Hawkeye sits down to absorb the information he is given. Confused by his wife's train of thought, Hawkeye asks what she wants to do.

"I don't know," Margaret replies as she sits beside her husband on the cot. "I got a letter from an old friend and she was telling me all about how great her life is, and I got angry. We could've had that if you weren't drafted!"

"You'd still have it if you hadn't signed up for this," Hawkeye gently adds. Shaking her head, Margaret replies, "No. You wouldn't be there. Some honeymoon this is."

"We could still have one. After the war? Anywhere you want to go," Hawkeye promises. His wife smiles at the prospect, and answers, "Let's have it in the States. I'd rather be home with you."

"So my home is your home now?" Hawkeye asks hoping she will decide to stay in Crabapple Cove with him. Shaking her head, Margaret replies, "I was thinking base housing."

Noticing him try and process the news, Margaret replies, "The Army is my home, Hawk. You knew that when we married. I'll be stateside a lot, being a nurse."

"And if we had kids?" Hawkeye asks trying to process their future without his dad. Shrugging, Margaret answers, "We'll think of that when we come to it. Is it okay if I still stay in the Army?"

"Don't see how it can't be. We're stuck here indefinitely anyway. I'd make more money though, as a surgeon," Hawkeye teases. Smirking, the nurse asks, "I thought you didn't care about the money?"

"Not usually. I do care about you. How do you get through the war in tact?" Hawkeye seriously questions. Shaking her head, Margaret replies, "I just do."

The couple spends the night together under the guise of Hawkeye staying with one of the nurses. Setting her alarm, Margaret makes sure Hawkeye leaves her tent before anyone wakes up.

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	5. Chapter 5

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Once the camp returns as normal, Trapper and Hawkeye are asked to perform a nose job on an enlisted man. Neither licensed to do the procedure, Hawkeye enlists his plastic surgeon, Robinson. However, when his friend comes to operate, Hawkeye becomes easily distrustful. When he and Trapper show Robinson to his tent, they are quickly met by Frank and Margaret who question the surgeons' motives. Deflecting, the Chief Surgeon immediately watches the plastic surgeon flirt with Margaret. As Robinson starts caressing the nurse's jowls, Hawkeye quickly begins to break up the exchange. Thinking the worst is over, the doctor is livid when he finds his old friend pinning Margaret to a supply tent table the next day. Quickly, Margaret scurries toward her husband. Hawkeye tells her to leave and knows in an instant that the once long friendship is over. All he has to do is pretend to keep up the friendly banter until Robinson leaves. After almost a year of lying, he better be an expert by now. Telling Trapper he has some thinking to do, Hawkeye makes his way through camp. Noticing the Head Nurse's tent, he takes a chance that she is inside.

"Margaret," Hawkeye calls out softly as he knocks on the nurse's tent door. He only waits a moment until the door opens. Quietly, Margaret lets her husband inside. Once the door closes, she clings to Hawkeye like a lifeline. He lets her cry into him while he soothes her.

"He's gone now. Trap and I saw him off and I swore him off," Hawkeye comforts. Looking up at her husband, Margaret asks, "You swore Robinson off?"

Nodding, Hawkeye replies, "How could I stay friends with the guy if he's trying to take my wife?"

Margaret merely laughs at the remark stating, "Some marriage this is. We have to sneak around just to be together. It's no wonder Robinson thought I was available."

"Hey, this was not your fault. He's a pig," Hawkeye reassures wondering if he is taking his own ruse too far. Voicing his opinion, Hawkeye waits for his wife to respond. He notices her shake her head. Motioning toward her cot, Margaret explains, "I think we've both taken this too far."

"Then what do we do? We can't just pack up and leave."

"Well, first, I'm going to break off my friendship with Frank," Margaret replies adding, "and I think I need to get engaged."

"To who? According to the camp, I'm still a confirmed bachelor," Hawkeye remarks with a glint in his eyes. The nurse smiles and leans forward.

"Not to you. Donald Penobscott."

Confused, Hawkeye merely stares at his wife until she explains her scenario. Finally understanding that Donald is another ruse, Hawkeye smirks, "You have your own Tuttle!"

Rolling her eyes, Margaret answers, "My dad has a friend whose son I've been friends with for years. He owes me a favor. I hope you don't mind sending me love letters."

"Never. Just remind me to find a new hand. I think someone will suspect my writing."

"Speaking of writing, have you written your dad recently?" Margaret asks. Hawkeye nods adding, "He said to tell you hello. Apparently receiving an early Christmas present and a long letter wasn't enough for him."

"It was actually a late Birthday present. You're sure your dad likes slippers?" Margaret asks wondering how Korean yarn differs from the yarn back in the States.

"In sole confidence, he told me he loved them," Hawkeye teases before taking notice of the time. About to stand, he quickly notices his wife's hand hold onto his.

"Or," Margaret leans in and flirts, "You could tell Trapper you spent the night with a nurse?"

Bridging the distance, Hawkeye mumbles, "I can do that."

The next morning, Hawkeye goes back to his tent only to find his boots are broken. Dodging mud puddles, Hawkeye makes his way to breakfast, grabs a tray, food, and then sits down near Margaret. Noticing him grumble, Margaret asks, "Something wrong?"

"Yeah, it's these boots! The sole's coming off."

"You can ask my father," Margaret whispers. Shaking his head, Hawkeye replies, "I ordered a new pair, they just haven't come in yet."

Margaret merely nods because Trapper comes to the table.

"What are you two kids talking about," Trapper questions.

"I need new boots," Hawkeye grumbles.

"Didn't you order some months ago?" He asks. Hawkeye nods. Finally fed up with his own boots, Hawkeye practically begs for a requisition form. Finding out he cannot simply use a form, Hawkeye ends up on a wild goose chase that ultimately comes to Frank signing a discharge form for Klinger. Confiding in Margaret, she agrees to get Frank to sign the papers if they organize a surprise party for Frank's birthday. Hawkeye wants to protest especially after the conversation he and Margaret have only a day and a half before. However, Margaret still feels she owes the annoying, terrible doctor something.

Agreeing, Trapper exclaims, "'It's a deal!'"

"'It is not! I have just run out of hypocrisy! My dignity tank is getting dangerously low! You expect me to drag twenty screaming people to a party for Frank Burns and paint smiles on their faces? And presents? Half this camp spends its time sticking pins in little Frank Burns dolls! I will debase myself just so far for a pair of boots! Ha! Party for Frank Burns?'" Hawkeye argues before storming out of Margaret's tent and into a large puddle. Feet soaked, Hawkeye quickly agrees. With all of the favors taken care of and a party in place, Hawkeye can practically feel his feet warm up. Telling so to Trapper, the other surgeon asks, "Are you sure that's not just hypothermia."

"Ha ha," The Chief Surgeon deadpans before separating himself from his bunk mate, Hawkeye talks to other people in the camp he rounds up to attend Frank's party. However, everything falls apart as quickly as it comes together. With no requisition and cold feet, Hawkeye goes to supply and steals a few trash bags. Creating a makeshift boot, Hawkeye sequesters himself to his tent. Later in the day, Trapper asks his bunk mate if he is hungry. Declining his offer, Trapper quickly convinces him to eat.

Shocked by her husband's new apparel when he enters the mess tent, Margaret tries not to show any emotion until she catches him during rounds that night. Feeling awful, the nurse asks her husband about his leg.

"My leg is fine, but my foot needs a little waterproofing," He jokes.

"Was that party to get a new pair of boots?" Margaret asks shocked finally putting the pieces together. Rubbing his neck, Hawkeye states, "Among some other favors."

"The Army hasn't given you a new pair yet?" She asks. Sighing, her husband replies, "No, it got misplaced. I thought about making a new pair from the five hundred pair of diapers that were delivered here, but it's just not the same."

"Hawk," Margaret sighs. Soon her eyes brighten when she remembers what is in the supply tent.

"Come to my tent tonight, and I'll fix them," Margaret tells her husband just as a soldier calls out to them.

Entering the Head Nurse's tent just after his shift, Hawkeye notices his wife at her desk surrounded by small bottles.

"We had a crate of Cyanoacrylates delivered here by mistake about two months ago. I forgot about them until now," Margaret states. "Take off your boots and, I'll fix them."

Grinning widely, Hawkeye kisses his wife.

"You're the best!" He exclaims as he takes the trash bag and boots off. Reclining on the cot, Hawkeye watches as Margaret takes the glue and dabs it onto the boots. While she works, they joke about their life back home and Hawkeye tells her about his letters to and from his dad. An hour later, Margaret declares her work finished. Trying the shoes back on, Hawkeye declares, "I want to jump in puddles and see what happens!"

Shaking her head, Margaret replies, "Try it!"

"Come with me," Hawkeye pleads knowing no one is out this late at night. Shaking her head, Margaret counters, "Someone may see."

"They see you with Frank, and me with other nurses. What's the worst that can happen? We'll just pretend we're back in the States. Remember that time we got caught in the rain and I had to sneak into your apartment?"

Laughing, Margaret states, "My roommates teased me for a week."

Agreeing, the nurse puts her own boots on and the couple splashes around in the mud. Excited, Hawkeye exclaims, "They work!"

She smiles back and soundly kisses him. Hearing footsteps a minute later, Margaret quickly breaks the kiss and drags her husband back to her tent.

"That was close," She remarks once the door is shut. Looking up at her husband who smiles widely, she asks what he is thinking. Laughing, Hawkeye states, "Your face was priceless."

Margaret simply roles her eyes before telling him she is going to sleep. Hawkeye's face falls as he realizes that he cannot sleep in the tent that night since it will cause suspicion. Instead, he kisses his wife and leaves. Margaret watches her husband head back to The Swamp by jumping in all the puddles he can find.

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	6. Chapter 6

**I know, it's been forever!**

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Hawkeye tries his hardest to stay away from the Front, if not to leave his father one person to see home. Not keen on Margaret being there to begin with, he knows he cannot tell her to stay. She is too strong willed for that. Instead, he protests. Left with the shortest sausage link, Hawkeye obeys command.

On the way to the aid station with Margaret and Klinger, Hawkeye can only make jokes. Thankfully he can flirt with his wife without an eyebrow raise. Then, he sees his new operating area. Making quick decisions and working with little to no jokes causes the surgeon to yearn for the 77th. After hours of surgery, Hawkeye cleans up, eats whatever is in their rations, and hunkers down next to Margaret. She notices his distance, and cannot blame him. To everyone else they are enemies.

"'We did it'," Margaret states proud of their work from earlier. Getting as comfortable as he can, Hawkeye teases, "'My lips are sealed.'"

Dismissing his comment, the nurse asks, "'Do you suppose there are snipers out there?'"

"'If they're good union snipers, they are'," Hawkeye says as he scoots close to his wife and covers her with a blanket. "'I want you to know, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been replaced by exhaustion.'"

Eager to fall asleep herself, Margaret leans closer into Hawkeye.

"'Good night, Captain.'"

"'Good night, Major.'"'

In a whisper no one else can hear, Hawkeye tells his wife he loves her before falling asleep beside her.

The next morning, Klinger wakes up to make a call to Radar that they are heading home when he notices Hawkeye and Margaret cuddled together.

"Should have brought a camera," He mutters before placing the call. Hanging up the phone, Klinger smirks as the pair still sleeps. Quietly, he crouches at the pair's feet before asking, "Got room for one more?"

Jolting awake, the couple scrambles apart.

"You can't tell anyone about this!" Margaret declares. Raising his hand, Klinger agrees as Hawkeye remarks, "But Ferret Face will love it!"

Her disapproving look makes him grin, and Margaret can envision a child of theirs making the same face someday.

Pleasantly, the trip back is less tense. Hawkeye eventually declares that they are close to camp. A little sad to let her guard back up, Margaret happily accepts the kiss Hawkeye places on her cheek when he declares her the best nurse. Klinger dons a blue, circle hat, and the trio reenters the camp. Back to their regular life, Margaret and Hawkeye listen to the squabbles of the camp. Locking eyes, the couple remembers the small respite they receive at the front and raise glasses and give a smile. At least there is something happy in the first year of their marriage.

Settling back into camp leads to the normal problems and chaos except for the sniper that targets their camp toward the end of Spring. Hunkered down in post op, the camp tries its best to cope. Left with Frank and his complaining, Margaret tells him that a real man is brave and will confront the sniper. When Frank makes another excuse, Margaret decides to drop the topic and focus on getting some sleep. Finishing his rounds, Hawkeye goes to find Frank. When the man is nowhere to be found, Hawkeye spots his wife asleep on a cot in Post Op.

"'Margaret,'" He whispers waking her up. Startled, Margaret calms when she hears Hawkeye annouce, "'Margaret! Margaret, relax! I'm not here for violation purposes. Where's Frank? It's his shift.'"

"'He's not here,'" The nurse replies before repeating herself realizing where he is.

"Where is he?" Hawkeye asks. Biting her lip, Margaret answers, "Outside. Hawk, you have to go after him."

As much as he dislikes the man, Hawkeye knows his wife's temper and does as she says. Watching her husband leave, Margaret decides to check on patients to distract herself. Half an hour later, she finds Hawkeye and Frank come into Post Op and sighs in relief.

"You're okay," She whispers looking at her husband who nods in understanding. Turning to Frank, Margaret asks how he is and is met with his usual sniveling and arrogance. She can see Hawkeye roll his eyes in peripheral vision and has to keep herself from laughing. The day proves to be better when their sniper surrenders. While Hawkeye treats the sniper for his wounds, a batch of casualties roll in. With everyone working, Frank is able to gloat about catching the sniper.

"All you saw was Radar eating a sandwich," Hawkeye remarks sick of his bunk mate's gloating.

"Let's pick a new topic," Henry calls out.

"I agree, Colonel," Margaret calls out sick of her husband and friend's arguing. Ordering people about, and infuriated with Frank's continued whining, Margaret fails to see the door open to the refrigerator that holds vials of blood. To her dismay the OR goes silent just as her head hits the door. Wincing, Margaret tries her best to school her features and avoids eye contact by taking dirty instruments to the autoclave. Just as she heads back, she is stopped in the doorway by her husband who shines a light in her face.

"What are you doing?" Margaret questions wanting to swat his hand away. Turning the flashlight off, Hawkeye replies, "Checking you for a concussion. You hit your head pretty hard back there."

"I'm fine," Margaret answers as she skirts past her husband and back into surgery. Knowing how stubborn his wife is, Hawkeye keeps an eye on her the rest of their shift. At dinner, he notices Margaret barely eating, and asks if she has a headache. Scowling at him, Margaret begins to pick at her food again as Trapper remarks how hard she hit her head.

"The whole camp probably heard the thud," Hawkeye adds. "You should really get that looked at."

"Thank you, but I'm fine," She states before picking up her tray and leaving. Passing the men again on her way out, the doctors notice how unsteady she is. Following her outside, Hawkeye and Trapper quickly take hold of her arms.

"You never mentioned how dizzy you were," Hawkeye chides. "We're taking you to bed."

"And not in the way we'd like to," Trapper jokes as he opens Margaret's tent door. Her shocked face causes Hawkeye to reassure her, "It'll be find Margaret. Just lay down. We'll fend off Frank's advances."

Looking at Trapper as he says the latter remark, Hawkeye motions for him to keep watch. With his friend gone, Hawkeye looks at his wife pointedly asking, "Is there any nausea?"

Shaking her head, Margaret sits on her cot before asking him to get her pajamas for her. Nodding, Hawkeye gets what she needs before kissing her and telling her to get better.

"I'll come in every hour or so to check on you."

"Yes, doctor," Margaret teases as she takes off her army shirt and puts on her pajama top. She is finally under a blanket when Trapper whispers for Hawkeye to hurry up. When the door shuts, Hawkeye kisses Margaret one more time before letting her rest. Knowing he has to make sure she is okay at night, Hawkeye tells Trapper he will check on her through out the night.

"I don't know why you get to sit with her all night," Frank whines wishing to help her. Rolling his eyes, Hawkeye remarks, "Sorry, but I have the handsomest face."

"Yeah, no one wants to wake up to your ugly mug!" Trapper jokes. As Frank scowls, Hawkeye makes his escape. Knocking on Margaret's tent door, Hawkeye waits for her to tell him to come in but hears nothing. Letting himself in, Hawkeye notices his wife snoring softly and hates to wake her. Quietly, he sits on the side of her bed, and brushes Margaret's hair back with his hand before whispering her name. Stirring only slightly, he tries again.

"Ben," She mumbles causing Hawkeye to smile before adding, "Margaret, I need to check your eyes."

Remembering where she is, Margaret opens her eyes and groans.

"Headache?" He asks concerned.

"Only after remembering I'm not back home with you," Margaret answers sitting up. Thanking her for the compliment, Hawkeye checks her eyes and asks how she feels. Shrugging, she answers, "Fine, now."

"No dizziness?" He asks worried. Margaret shakes her head before taking her husband's hand.

"I miss you," She whispers. Nodding, Hawkeye swallows answering, "Me, too."

Sighing, the day is not exactly lost on the couple. Their second wedding anniversary and Margaret has a concussion. Voicing the dilemma, Hawkeye asks, "Is there anything you need?"

Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "Just you."

"Consider it granted. I'm staying here all night to keep an eye on you," Hawkeye answers. Standing from the bed, the surgeon stretches before rummaging through his doctor kit. Margaret watches her husband curiously and is surprised when he walks over and kneels by her bed.

"I never got to do this properly, and I know we decided to leave our rings with Dad, but Margaret, will you marry me?" He asks holding up a rather small and unimpressive ring. Shocked, Margaret merely stares at the band.

"It's not as nice or pretty as the one back home, but I saw it with a peddler," Hawkeye begins and upon seeing his wife's disapproving look adds, "who I know aren't trustworthy, but I figured this could do a substitute until we get home? Besides, if you lose it, it wouldn't be as traumatic."

"Who says I'll lose it?" Margaret asks as she takes the ring from her husband's hand and tries it on. She can tell it's simple souvenir junk, but still treasures it adding, "I love it."

"You're concussed," Hawkeye jokes causing his wife to smile.

The next morning, Margaret wakes up before her husband feeling infinitely better. Throwing off her blanket, Margaret decides to get her toiletries to take a shower when she notices the cheap, gold plated wedding band sitting at her vanity. Inspecting it, Margaret puts the band on her ring finger and smiles. A moment later, she takes the jewelry off with a sigh knowing she cannot arouse suspicion. Grabbing her clothes and toiletries, Margaret leaves her tent making a mental note to put the ring on a chain.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Enjoy!**

With Henry gone for a few days to Tokyo, Frank comes into power in all his tea totaling glory. To the dismay of Trapper and Hawkeye, Frank takes the men's still keeping them from surviving their forty eight hour surgeries, rainy weather, and current lack of a movie.

"'They were furious when I took away their still'," Frank tells Margaret when he is in her tent the next day.

"'You took away their still?'" Margaret asks uneasily knowing how the men will act without it.

"'And moth balled it'," Frank announces proudly. Then, finding out that the man is outlawing all liquor, the nurse sneaks to supply that night.

Finding out from Radar where their still is hidden, the surgeons sneak into supply to look for it . Not finding anything, the men turn when they hear a noise come from the other side of the building. Turning on the light, they catch Margaret staring at them holding a flask and some wine. Once she is caught, she, Hawkeye, and Trapper head to The Swamp to drink their contraband.

"'I didn't know you could sing'," A drunk Margaret states slightly enamored by Hawkeye's voice. She knows her husband can carry a tune, but not that he can sing so well. Margaret easily follows suit in Hawkeye's song with Trapper coming in behind and are too drunk to care about Frank's whining once he appears in the tent. Waking up to a hangover the next morning is less than fun, but the trio considers it an act of rebellion as they wish Henry back sooner rather than later.

"Who knows what Frank will outlaw next?" Trapper complains.

"Dancing probably," Hawkeye remarks as he picks up one of his magazines. Thankfully by the end of the week, Frank repeals his asinine order and the camp returns to its usual state of alcoholic codependency.

With a new batch of wounded one day comes a soldier suffering from hysterical paralysis. Charged with the young man, Hawkeye quickly seeks Syndey Freedman's advise on how to deal with him and decides to treat him as an invalid. Running the scenario by Trapper, the other surgeon agrees.

"'Captain Pierce, I want a word with you'," Margaret demands of her husband in Post Op one afternoon. Going toward her, Hawkeye flirts, "'Fine. You want to act it out or whisper it in my ear?'"

Dismissing the remark, Margaret complains that her nurses are working twenty- four seven just on one patient that Hawkeye is in charge of.

"'So, move the clock'," He deadpans and starts walking away. Following her husband, Margaret again complains about how tired her nurses are to which Hawkeye flippantly dismisses. With another snide comment from her husband, Margaret goes to check another patient. Time away from her husband for even a few minutes will probably do her temper some good. Hawkeye simply goes over to the patient and tries to reason him into walking on his perfectly functional legs. When the soldier keeps fighting him, Hawkeye tells Margaret that the soldier will be taking his meals in the mess tent.

"'He can't eat in there'," Margaret states knowing regulations.

"'Who can? I hear the special today is Trench Toast'," Hawkeye quips causing his wife to add, "'Doctor, the patient can't walk.'"

"'Well then he can crawl, or go hungry'," The surgeon states turning to his patient adding, '" Whichever you prefer'."

Heading back to Trapper when the young soldier makes more excuses, Hawkeye turns away from everyone else in the room knowing how much of an outburst he causes.

"'Not easy is it?'" His friend asks.

"'Did you know Hitler and I have the same answering service?'" Hawkeye morbidly jokes before leaving the room. All he wants is for a soldier to admit he can walk because everyone else except Trapper is on his side even though the surgeon knows better than anyone what this young man is capable of. Frustrated, Hawkeye takes a long walk hoping to clear his head. After a full lap around the compound going the longest route possible, Hawkeye stops in the middle of the compound between his tent and Margaret's. Making sure no one is looking, Hawkeye slips into his wife's tent. When she comes in on a break, she nearly screams finding her husband sitting at her vanity.

"Hawk, what are you doing in here?" She nearly exclaims. Shrugging, Hawkeye answers, "Thinking. Margaret, I want to apologize for yelling at you."

Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "You don't have to be sorry, except to my nurses. I may not understand what you're doing, but Trapper told me Sydney advised it."

"Ah, so you'll listen to Sydney's advice, but not mine?" Hawkeye teases. Walking toward her husband, Margaret teases with a smirk, "There was no mention of listening in the marriage vows."

Standing beside him now, the nurse runs her fingers through her husband's hair stating, "Love, honor, cherish, even obey, but never listen."

Taking his wife's other hand, Hawkeye kisses it. After a small silence, Hawkeye asks, "How much time do you have left on your break?"

"How much time do you need?" Margaret asks with a grin. Her husband matches her expression wickedly before pulling his wife into his lap.

Fifteen minutes later when she is back in Post Op, Margaret is surprised to find Radar in one of the beds. Asking Kellye what he is doing there, the young nurse answers, "The Colonel wanted to give him a shot for rabies in case the dog that bit him is infected."

Nodding, Margaret makes a note to stop by the boy's bed.

"Hi," Margaret states when she notices the clerk's sweating. Taking a rag, she pats any sweat off his brow as Radar mumbles, "Hawkeye was supposed to give me a shot, but we couldn't find him."

Thankful that Radar's eyes are closed and he cannot see her face redden, the nurse answers, "I bet The Colonel did a fine job."

"Thank you, Major," Colonel Blake states startling the woman. "Mind if I sit with him?"

Shaking her head, Margaret tells them she will be back and goes to check on Hawkeye's patient instead. Hearing through Frank that the man is degenerate, Margaret decides to talk with him. The young man is still awake, so she asks how he is.

"Fine, I guess," The man remarks. Margaret gives a tight lipped smile before commending him, "I heard you crawled into the mess tent today."

Shrugging as best he can in a bed, the soldier answers, "You'll do just about anything when your hungry."

Nodding, Margaret states, "The mind does wonders. Get better, soldier."

"Yes, ma'am," The soldier answers as Margaret walks away.

Close to dinner, Hawkeye, Colonel Blake, and Trapper have to listen to Frank's complaining about their patient while Margaret backs him up. Only Hawkeye knows she is less than thrilled with him anymore. While the staff argues, they never register a knock, only a voice calling for Pierce. They all turn to find Hawkeye's patient in the doorway announcing he can stand. Trapper and Hawkeye immediately go to congratulate him. Margaret watches the action with a smile while Frank whines, "'Margeret, I was wrong!'"

Ignoring him, Margaret walks over to the men to talk to the patient. They all have celebratory dinner in the mess tent and actually get to know the young soldier from Boston. Leaving the mess tent after dinner, Margaret lightly grabs her husband's arm to keep him back from the others for a second. With an expression of pure adoration and awe, Margaret looks her husband in the eyes and tells him what a great job he did. Matching her gaze, Hawkeye answers, "Thanks."

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	8. Chapter 8

**Takes place during "George" and "Bombed".**

 **Enjoy!**

After another day of surgery, no one expects the day to go any worse than all the others. Frank and Margaret visit with one of the soldiers, and Frank has to congratulate on of the men's heroism. The soldier, Weston thanks them and immediately deflects any comments about the bruises on his face. The next afternoon, since Weston is fine, he takes to strolling the compound and sidles next to Hawkeye. They start to have a conversation, and Weston begs to be let back in the front with his troop. Told in confidence about the young man's sexuality, Hawkeye does his best to keep it a secret. However, he cannot keep himself from telling Trapper. Then, Frank finds out and immediately goes to have his rotation changed. During lunch, Radar informs Frank that the rotation is changed causing Margaret to ask why.

"'He said it gave him the willies to be around him'," Radar states.

"'His pulse did the cha cha every time he went to him'," Hawkeye teases causing Frank to immediately go on the defense. It only takes a few minutes for Frank to leave with Margaret close behind.

"How could you do that to this boy? Someone could do this just as easily to you!" The nurse declares in her tent ten minutes later. "What makes you think you can do that to him?"

"Weston? Well, he's go to go. The army cannot keep men like that," Frank states staying true to his rehearsal. Hands on her hips, Margaret asks, "Men like you? Why is this such a big deal to you?"

Frank is quiet for a while making Margaret suspect which she says out loud, "Frank, do you like this man?"

The Major's lack of response tells the nurse everything she needs to know. Softly, Frank states, "He can't be here. I can't be myself around him."

"You mean you can't be yourself to him with everyone else around."

Frank nods, and is soon back to typical Frank Burns stating, "I need to talk to the Colonel."

Margaret watches her friend leave and feels awful for him. She knows what it is like to hide, but thinks Frank is taking this a little too far.

Colonel Blake unfortunately becomes the next victim of Frank's tirade. When he is told that Weston is a homosexual, the Colonel asks, "'Has the man made a pass at you? At anyone?'"

When Frank says no, Colonel Blake tells him to let the matter drop not seeing a problem with a soldier who wants to go back to the front. Instead, Frank decides to go over his head. That night, as Frank tries to sign the papers in his tent, he hears Trapper and Hawkeye argue over if he is right or not.

"'Lay off Frank. You're just sore because he's right'," Trapper remarks. Wondering what he is right about, Frank questions them. Finally, he comes to understand that he is correct in his proceedings toward Weston.

"'Condemning someone for something that's his own business'," Hawkeye accuses before turning to Trapper and calling his a hypocrite. Frank is worried wondering if Hawkeye finally knows about his secret. Instead, Hawkeye outs Trapper's paying for medical exam answers before turning to Frank.

"'And you had the dumb nerve to judge someone else?'" Hawkeye questions.

"'If you say anything, I'll deny it'," Frank replies scared that the man really knows. Feeling completely guilty, the Major tears up the documents. Later, Trapper sits in a chair drinking his lighter fluid martini commenting on how well Hawkeye condemns him and comments on how his life is far from perfect.

"'You don't have to lie to me'," Trapper remarks to which Hawkeye deflects knowing he has to. He wants to tell his friend about Margaret, but knows it only needs to be between him, Margaret, and reluctantly, Frank.

A few days later, the camp finds out it is being shelled by its own people prompting the camp to either find cover or become stuck in whatever building they happen to be in. Unfortunately for Margaret, she is stuck in supply with Trapper who graciously never tries anything on her. Going with Frank to find them a couple hours later, the men finally settle on Supply. However, when the door is barricaded shut, the men are forced to kick it open. Once the door is down, the men notice their bunk mate and their Head Nurse are huddled together under a blanket.

"'Hello, hello, hello!'" Hawkeye greets in a terrible Cary Grant impersonation as he stares at his wife and best friend wondering if he needs to be jealous or not.

"'Oh, we uh, came in here for supplies and a shell hit and the door jammed'," Margaret explains as she tries to free herself from the blanket.

"'Oh, that's good for starters'," Hawkeye replies evenly quickly overshadowed by Frank's outburst. Grabbing her helmet, Margaret repeats her statement and runs out of supply. Left with Trapper and Frank in their tent as they create a survival kit, Hawkeye is more than happy when Frank asks about how much of a gentleman Trapper was to Margaret. He figures his wife keeps things tame and nothing happens, but a part of him is curious. Sometimes, he wants to tell Trapper about him and Margaret, but knows how many people it takes to keep a secret.

As they do surgery an hour later, Radar graciously turns on the radio on for them to work by, but are inundated with propaganda. After hearing for the fourth time that their wives or girlfriends are dating other guys back home, Hawkeye looks at his wife who is also his current surgery partner and asks, "Is that true?"

Margaret has to look at her husband's face to see there is no malice in his words especially after the sight he sees in the supply tent. Smirking from behind her mask, Margaret answers, "No. Some women are over here with their husbands and boyfriends."

"And ne'er the two shall meet," Hawkeye adds before asking his wife for an instrument.

Complaining about doing chest surgery, Frank looks over at Hawkeye who is at a station behind him. Asking what the problem is, Hawkeye realizes it is the wrong answer when Frank tries to weasel his way out of doing the surgery.

"'Frank, Trapper tried. No dice. He's all yours'," Hawkeye states.

"'I have no idea what you're talking about'," Frank remarks thinking for a split second Margaret blabs about his sexuality to Hawkeye. The Chief Surgeon merely gives his wife a confused look. She shrugs and they continue with their work.

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	9. Chapter 9

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Iron Guts Kelly comes a couple days later, surprising Hawkeye once again about his wife's past. Seeing how enamored Margaret is by the older general, Hawkeye decides to tease her. When she comes to his bedside the next night asking for help, he is surprised but thrilled.

"'Margaret, a dream come true'," Hawkeye states as he begins to put his arms around her. Moving his arms away, Margaret leads her husband and now awake Trapper to her tent where Iron Guts Kelly is dead on her cot. Letting Trapper tease Margaret for her activities. Unsure how they will move him, the men soon find the general's aid and explain the situation to him. Shocked, the aid demands he drive the general to the front to make it look like the man died there. Tasked with getting the general into a bus, Hawkeye and Trapper do their job and head back to their tent for a drink. Their relaxation is ended as soon as it begins when Kelly's aid comes in and asks about the body. Replying that they thought the bus was being driven by the aid, all three men look to Frank who tells them the bus with the floozies will be stopped by MPs. Confused by the aid's anger being directed at him, Frank looks at his bunk mates when the aid leaves and asks why the man is so upset with him.

"'The man's crazy about you'," Hawkeye teases.

"'What?'" Frank defends causing Hawkeye and Trapper to tell him how great a job he is doing. He gives them an odd look before declaring, "Aw, Nerts."

Trapper and Hawkeye face each other and snicker before deciding to follow Kelly's aid. Once the crisis is over, the men head back to The Swamp. Excusing himself to the latrine, Hawkeye leaves his friend and heads to Margaret's tent. Knocking on the door, Hawkeye hears Margaret call out, "Go away Frank. I have a headache."

"Too big a one to see me?" Hawkeye asks through the door. Quickly the door opens and Margaret lets Hawkeye inside. Once the door closes, Hawkeye looks his wife in the eyes and asks, "You okay?"

With a heavy sigh, Margaret answers, "Well, a general just died in my bed. What do you think?"

Hawkeye simply nods saying, "What can I do to help? You wanna talk?"

After a moment, Margaret nods and tells her husband, "Robert came to talk to me as I was getting ready for bed, and we talked a bit about my father."

"That doesn't explain his being in your bed," Hawkeye states. Shocked, Margaret asks, "Were you jealous?"

"Well, you were mooning over some older man. I thought maybe I was too young for you."

"You're older than me," Margaret points out.

"By a year," Hawkeye replies. Deciding to finish her story before the conversation ends in a fight, Margaret adds, "Kelly was sitting on my bed to talk and I sat at my vanity. After a while, I excused myself to brush my teeth, came back, and he was dead on my cot."

She notes her husband's silence before continuing, "I promise! I even told him I was married. Well, my father told him one night after they'd been drinking. I just confirmed it. I'm sorry if I upset you."

"You did," Hawkeye answers truthfully, "but I never knew your life before us, and I'm still getting used to it even after a year here."

Looking at the ground, Margaret answers, "I never thought you'd have to see it. I'm sorry. If I'd known then what I knew now?"

Shaking his head, Hawkeye answers, "Don't. It led you here. In a war with your husband."

With a short chuckle, Margaret states, "Hopefully not together."

"No, we'll keep those two separate," Hawkeye jokes before kissing his wife adding, "I need to head back. Trapper may come looking for me. Said I was in the latrine."

"You always say the mess tent food is terrible," Margaret remarks. With a smirk, Hawkeye says, "I'll remember that. Night, Margaret."

"Night," She answers as he shuts the door.

The next day, in the middle of a surgery, Hawkeye is working with Margaret. Usually they are in sync, but he quickly notes that she keeps messing up and asks what is wrong.

"'I'm just so nervous about Colonel Reese coming'," Margaret admits.

"'Don't tell me. Is he another root canal wizard from Busaid?'" Hawkeye teases. Slightly affronted, his nurse corrects Colonel Reese's gender adding, "'It's a she. A very important nurse."

Frank who is working with the gas explains she a decorated Colonel. Trapper, opposite Hawkeye teases that they can put their Christmas presents under since she is so decorated. At the man's remark, Margaret drops an instrument. Deciding that Margaret is not fit for surgery, Hawkeye tells her to go roll some bandages and calls Nurse Baker over.

"'Come on. Go ahead, go ahead. I'll see you later'," Hawkeye demands as his wife is quickly replaced by the other nurse.

After surgery, Margaret, Frank, Trapper, and Hawkeye wash their arms and hands and begin talking. After a minute, Hawkeye tells Margaret, "'If you can't keep your mind off of your job Major hen stay out of the OR.'"

Offended, Margaret quickly asks Frank to defend her when he and Trapper get in a small argument. Then, the nurse turns to her husband and remarks, "'I know my job! I didn't get to be a Major just by sitting on my duff.'"

"'Well, somebody did'," Hawkeye answers. When Margaret asks for clarification about the remark thinking the General Kelly upset is over, Hawkeye stares at her blankly.

"'I demand satisfaction'," She defends.

"'Tired lately, Frank?'" Hawkeye teases before going back to washing his hands. As he and Trapper listen to Margaret ask Frank to defend her honor, the friends snicker. What neither suspects is Frank to slap Hawkeye's butt with a towel. Offended and a little annoyed that his wife's sniveling friend will resort to the tactic, Hawkeye promptly punches him. Drying his hands off while Frank is helped up, the Chief Surgeon passively listens to Frank's declaration of a court martial. Dismissing the remarks, Hawkeye and Trapper leave Margaret and Frank alone.

"Frank," Margaret complains when she finds out her friend is actually placing a court marshal against her husband. "What are you thinking? You can't just court marshal people for a little dispute!"

"He deserves it! He's been harassing me for over a year now," Frank replies not seeing the problem. Realizing that Frank thinks he is in the right, Margaret shakes her head and walks out of the scrub room to prepare for Colonel Reese.

A few minutes later, Frank drags Hawkeye into the CO's office and demands a legitimate court martial. When Hawkeye finds out he will be confined to his tent, he happily accepts enjoying the idea of a stay at camp R&R.

"'Mission accomplished, take me home'," Hawkeye tells the MPs once the orders are given. He notices Margaret talking with an older woman whom he assumes is the colonel his wife is so anxious to impress.

"'Pretty cute! Who is he?'" Colonel Reese comments once Hawkeye leaves.

"'Captain Pierce'," Margaret states adding he is the one with the court martial.

"'Grabbed a nurse and jumped her bones'," Reese jokes.

"'Oh, no!'" Margaret deflects knowing any comment on her husband's looks will give her away. What she never understands is Colonel Reese's obsession with Frank. As the esteemed colonel keeps flirting with her friend, and acting nothing like what she expects, Margaret loses respect for the woman. Saying so to Hawkeye after she asks the MPs to let her in the otherwise abandoned tent, her husband asks, "Well, do you think you could learn something from her at least?"

"Such as?" Margaret asks being her usually stubborn self. Hawkeye lies back on his bed, placing his hands under his head stating, "I don't know. Maybe to have a little more fun?"

"Are you saying I'm not fun?" Margaret accuses. Quickly sitting up, Hawkeye exclaims, "No! I think you're fun, granted I have a better view of that than the rest of the camp. I don't know, Margaret? Maybe don't take things so seriously?"

Margaret huffs before standing to leave. Noting this, Hawkeye pouts a little stating, "We could have some fun, you know. No one is around."

"Except the MPs at your door. I'd rather not have an audience to your idea of fun. Besides, I have a shift soon and I'd like to wash my hair."

"Spoil sport," Hawkeye teases as he stands and kisses his wife. Walking her to the door, he opens it and jokes, "Come back again sometime, ya hear?"

"I'll make note of that, Captain," Margaret replies dryly, although Hawkeye can see the twinkle in her eyes as she speaks. However, anything she can learn is shattered when she goes into her tent after her shift and finds Frank and Colonel Reese making out on the guest's cot. Despite the fact that Colonel Reese attacks him, Frank is put on house arrest, but Hawkeye's charges are dropped when Frank finally loses his case. After two days under house arrest, Hawkeye teases Frank about being able to leave the tent before heading toward Margaret's.

"I didn't learn to have fun," Margaret states once she lets her husband inside. "I simply learned not to meet your idols."

"Yeah, they can really let you down. That's why I never met Groucho Marx," Hawkeye jokes. Rolling her eyes, Margaret states, "I'm serious. I had a lot of respect for her."

Putting his hand on Margaret's shoulder, Hawkeye says, "I know you did. I'm sorry it didn't work out."

Letting her shoulders drop, the nurse looks in her husband's eyes and thanks him. A small smirk crosses her lips as she remembers something the Colonel forgot. Noting his wife's expression, Hawkeye looks at her questioningly. Her mouth spreading into a smile, Margaret states, "The Colonel left her brandy."

A smile playing on his face, Hawkeye asks suggestively, "Care for a nightcap, Margaret?"

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	10. Chapter 10

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When the colonel decides the camp needs physicals, the entire camp is less than thrilled. The next day involves examining the enlisted, nurses, and lower ranks before the licensed doctors and head nurse are checked. Leaving his examination area after his shift, Hawkeye is told the staff member he is examining and is almost giddy with excitement. Heading into his tent, the surgeon grabs his razor and shaving cream and goes to the mirror to shave.

Entering the tent after his last patient, Trapper notices his friend humming to himself. Asking if he has a big date, the man is surprised by his friend's answer.

"'I'm giving Hotlips her physical'," Hawkeye tells Trapper as he finishes shaving. There are perks to no one knowing he is married.

"'If I'm not back in two days, alert intensive care'," Hawkeye announces before leaving. Knocking, the surgeon waits only a second before opening Margaret's tent door.

"'Hi, Doctor's here darling'," Hawkeye teases as he enters his wife's tent. Forgetting that is today, Margaret unenthusiastically states, "'Oh, yes. The physical.'"

"'Where do you want me to start?'" Hawkeye teases. Margaret simply blows into his stethescope surprising her husband.

"Margaret," He lightly chastizes. Rolling her eyes, the nurse relents and tells him to start with her back.

"'Breath, Major. Pretend I'm Frank'," The surgeon teases when his wife is uncooperative.

"'I know how to breath, Captain'," Margaret defends standing up. Hawkeye then takes his stethescope and uncerimoniously puts the metal onto her skin.

"'You could stand to lose a few pounds'," Hawkeye remarks causing his wife to look at him in shock as he adds, "Stop grazing between meals.'"

"How dare you!" Margaret exclaims. "Just because you're my husband gives you no right to comment on my weight."

"Margaret, I'm just saying-"

"Just saying would get you kicked out of bed, Mister! You're lucky we have seperate tents!"

"Margaret," Hawkeye tries to backtrack. Eyes narrowing, Margaret exclaims, "Out!"

Knowing his wife will be mad at him for a while, Hawkeye keeps his distance and spends more time with Trapper. Sneaking supplies into a truck a few nights later, Trapper and Hawkeye tell Sister Teresa from the orphanage that she is set to leave. Thanking them, the nun is surprised when the surgeons tell her that their orders come from Captain Tuttle to keep them from having to sign for the supplies and get caught by Henry. A minute later the men see the truck off, and Trapper asks about this Captain Tuttle. Hawkeye merely shrugs. Still curious the next day, Trapper asks over their gin, "'How did you come up with a name like Tuttle anyway?'"

Flipping through a magazine, Hawkeye answers, "'He was my imaginary childhood friend.'"

Surprised, Trapper questions, "'You had an imaginary friend?'"

"'Yeah, if anybody said, who knocked over the garbage? I'd say Tuttle. Who broke the window? Tuttle. Who wet the bed?'" Hawkeye asks waiting for a response. Amused, Trapper answers, "'Tuttle!'"

"'He had no control'," Hawkeye jokes. Quickly, Trapper asks what happened when Hawkeye got drafted.

"'Tuttle got drafted'," Hawkeye answers as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

Radar, in the room for the conversation finds the story amusing, and thankfully can come up with a decent lie when Colonel Blake asks about the fictitious Captain. Unfortunately, Blake decides to make the man Officer of the Day despite Frank's daily volunteering.

Knowing Frank and Margaret will snoop since Tuttle takes the man's new title, Trapper, Hawkeye, and Radar create Tuttle's personnel file. Finishing the standard requirements such as parents and school, the men begin Tuttle's description.

"'Now, a little something for Hotlips'," Hawkeye remarks before describing a man almost as tall as himself with auburn hair and hazel eyes that he knows Margaret will swoon over. He may also feel like pranking her for not speaking to him. Satisfied with their work, the men hand the file to Radar which Frank and Margaret eagerly ask to look at the next day. After going through the file, Margaret soon asks Radar to contact General Clayton to verify everything. Leaving the office, Radar heads to the phone. Thankfully, Hawkeye walks in the room just as Radar places the call. Eagerly taking on the role of the general, the surgeon once again diverts any suspicion that Tuttle is fake.

To Hawkeye and Trapper's dismay, Colonel Blake asks to see Tuttle in his office later in the day which causes the men to create a wild goose chase in finding him. However, not knowing how to leave well enough alone, the pranksters decide to give their imaginary friend back pay for the last fourteen months. Knowing the money cannot go to either of them, Hawkeye has the money sent to Sister Teresa's orphanage. Unfortunately, Sister Teresa is the biological sister of General Clayton who tells him all about the Captain's generosity.

Finding out the General is coming to congratulate Tuttle for his charity to the general's sister's orphanage, Hawkeye asks Trapper when they are in their tent what he should do. Shrugging, Trapper answers, "I don't know. He's your friend."

"Very funny, Trap. I'm serious."

"Your best bet is to kill him."

Reluctantly taking his friend's advice, Hawkeye faces the camp and General Clayton the next day explaining how selfless Captain Tuttle tragically loses his life when he forgets his parachute when volunteering as a field medic. The camp listens to the tale speechless. Radar and Trapper are simply wondering where Hawkeye comes up with this story. Once he is finished with his speech, Hawkeye accepts the honor bestowed upon his imaginary friend before he and Trapper head off to their tent. Radar, following behind asks as the men grab a drink, "'Where did you get the dog tags?'"

Trapper jokes it's from Tuttle's replacement, but really they found worn tags in supply. Telling this to Radar, Hawkeye adds, "We're putting them back tonight."

"That's good, Sirs. I'm just glad he was fake," Radar says as he heads to the door. "Imagine someone actually dying because they forgot their parachute."

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	11. Chapter 11

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In late Spring, the camp finds out that Colonel Henry Blake is going home. Trapper and Hawkeye go into his office to congratulate him and hopefully get free Scotch, but find him on the phone with his wife. Happy for him, the surgeons listen in on the call making smart comments. After the call and finally toasting Blake with some drinks, Hawkeye and Trapper head out of camp.

"Kinda wish it were me leaving," Trapper admits as they walk to Rosie's Bar. "Seeing Louise and the girls? Honestly, Hawk, you don't know what you're missing!"

Hawkeye merely laughs as they enter the establishment. Over a few drinks, the men decide to throw their friend a going away party. Getting everything together over the next day and a half, the men finally convince Colonel Blake to head to Rosie's. Hawkeye and Trapper enjoy celebrating with their friend, and are pretty sad to see the night end knowing their CO will leave in the morning.

Slipping into Margaret's tent later that night after telling Trapper he wants to take a walk to clear his head, the man finds his wife reading a book. Looking up when the tent door opens, Margaret is shocked to find her husband stumble in. Putting her book down, the nurse teases, "I take it the party went well?"

"Yep! He can go off with more Korean food than he ate while he was here."

Margaret simply laughs before asking him all about it. She watches him animatedly tell about the waiters singing to them and makes a few comments of her own until he ends up crawling in bed with her and falling asleep. Brushing his hair out of his face, Margaret is happy to see her husband enjoying himself. Snuggling up beside him, the nurse soon falls asleep herself.

Waking up the next morning Hawkeye is pleasantly surprised to smell his wife's perfume and revels in it until he remembers he needs to be in his tent. As smoothly as possible, the surgeon leaves the bed and heads to the showers to hopefully come to grips with the headache that starts to form. Five hours later, the camp stands in formation as Henry tells them good bye. Crossing back to Trapper and Hawkeye, Blake is pulled aside by the Chief Surgeon. To tease his wife, Hawkeye whispers in Henry's ear.

'"Do you think I should?'" The Colonel asks knowing Margaret's temper.

"'Why not?'" Hawkeye states. Knowing there is no harm done, Henry goes straight to Margaret and kisses her in front of everyone. Surprised, the nurse makes sure to pull a prank on her husband later just as soon as they finish with the wounded. Treating patients as Henry leaves, the unit is fairly silent with a few jokes thrown about at Frank's expense. Toward the end, Radar comes in to complaints and hopeful discharge letters and delivers the unthinkable. Their former commander is dead.

No more jokes are said that day except by a clearly demented Frank. Many of the camp members find solace together which leads Hawkeye to find Margaret crying in her tent.

"Hey," He whispers sitting beside her. She sniffs and looks at him, her eyes swollen.

"He was the last person I expected–"

"I know," Hawkeye answers hugging her to him. "It'll be okay."

The crack his voice has betrays his facade, and the couple soon find themselves curled up in Margaret's cot rather subdued.

"You know, Margaret, I have two days R&R in Tokyo next week. I'm thinking of taking it," Hawkeye tells her a little later. Turning toward him, Margaret answers, "I think you should."

Surprised, the surgeon asks, "Are you sure?"

Propping herself up with her elbow, Margaret answers, "I'm sure. I know he was more like a friend to you than a commander."

Kissing his wife, Hawkeye thanks her. For the next few days, Hawkeye spends his time in Tokyo enjoying the sites and buying souveniers for his dad and Margaret. However, when he comes back, he is less than thrilled to find out that Trapper was sent home. Heading the CO's tent, Hawkeye interrupts whatever meeting Frank as commanding officer is conducting and states, "'I'm going to Kimpo to say good bye to Trapper.'"

Frank whines about his leaving, while Margaret tries to stop him, but Hawkeye quickly tells them that there are only two patients in Post Op and he is not needed. Leaving the office after Radar asks permission to pick up Trapper's replacement, Hawkeye immediately goes to find the company clerk who is currently in a jeep. Guilting Radar into letting him drive, the surgeon makes record time to Kimpo. When he is too late, Hawkeye's shoulder's sag. The loss of Trapper leaves a sense of emptiness and the uneasy feeling no one else in camp can be his comedic buffer. With the realization that he will be alone with Frank, Hawkeye heads back to the jeep and Radar only to find the new guy waiting on his ride. Introducing himself to B.J. Hunnicutt, Hawkeye soon finds himself drinking with him on the ride home while filling him in on the camp after they steal a jeep for the ride home.

Margaret waits for the Jeep to come back if only to console her husband, but is surprised when a young man drunkenly salutes her and calls her Hotlips. Staring at Hawkeye who is in the same state of inebriation, Margaret knows not to react when the man falls to his knees against her in laughter. Instead she asks her husband the next day what happens on the jeep ride.

"Where do you want me to start?" Hawkeye asks. "Missing my best friend by ten minutes or the litany of casualties that we came across on our way home?"

Margaret's face falls a little before asking, "What's Hunnicut like?"

"I like him, but I doubt Frank will," Hawkeye supplies with a grin before B.J. calls him. Watching her husband run off, Margaret shakes her head wondering how much chaos these two will cause.

While Frank plays commader in charge, Hawkeye takes B.J. under his wing and tells him how to keep sane. Thankfully, the new member has a similar humor to Hawkeye. The pair start off their time together setting fire to the latrine and by the end of the first week, Hawkeye is excited when B.J. asks if there is a bar in camp.

"If I know Frank, he'll ban us from the Officer's Club," The Chief Surgeon laments knowing it has happened before. Sighing, B.J. wonders aloud why they cannot simply have a bar in their own tent.

"I think you've got something! Mind helping me a bit?" Hawkeye asks as he heads toward Frank's bed. Eager to help, B.J. figures out the best layout for a bar and the two men set to work.

"'Frank's bed, now doing business as Joe's Bar and Grill. If my wife calls, I'm not here'," Hawkeye jokes once their newly made bar is finished. B.J. happily accepts his position as bar keep especially since he already dislikes Frank. While he cleans the glasses, B.J. notices Radar come in and give them the news that Frank is being replaced with a real Commanding Officer. Overjoyed, the men happily watch their bunk mate's expression when he reads the letter informing him of the change. By the end of the afternoon, Father Mulcahey, Hawekeye, Margaret, and B.J. are in Colonel Potter's office while he goes over their files. Once they are dismissed, Margaret informs Hawkeye and B.J. that Frank is absent without leave. Surprised that Frank will abandon his favorite unit, Hawkeye quickly grabs the PA system microphone to inform the camp once his wife tells them not to say anything. Watching the pair interact, B.J. notes how much their argument sounds like something from him and Peg. Wondering if there is something going on between the pair, his idea is dashed when Margaret continually worries about Frank.

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	12. Chapter 12

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"Those two are never apart are they?" B.J. remarks one afternoon as he watches Frank with Margaret. Looking over, Hawkeye gives a noncommittal answer before going back to his book. Curious, B.J. asks, "You sound very nonchalant about them."  
Shrugging, Hawkeye answers, "Why not?"  
"Is their relationship not weird to you?" B.J. asks hoping to find out if Hawkeye likes Margaret. Aside from writing his wife, he thinks matchmaking may be a good past time for the war. Realizing he is supposed to answer, Hawkeye remarks, "They've been like this since I got here."  
The odd relationship is not lost on Margaret either. After about a week of Frank following her like a puppy, the nurse finally confronts him about his clinginess. With a frown, all that Frank can say is, "Louis sent me a Dear John letter."  
Sorry for her friend, Margaret tells him so adding, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
Nodding, the friends enter Margaret's tent. Twenty minutes later, as Frank still pours his heart out about his boyfriend, Margaret sits at her desk shuffling letters and trying to find the one she needs to hand Hawkeye. For the last month, Margaret has been badgering her old friend Donald to pretend to marry her so she can stop acting like an Army nut and get Frank out of her hair. She just needs to find the confirmation letter to give to Hawkeye in Post Op later in the day.  
"What are you doing?" Frank whines needing her to pay attention to him. With a sigh, the nurse lies, "I'm debating on whether or not to set you up."  
Eyes wide, Frank asks who with.  
"An old friend of mine. He actually owes me a favor, but I figured you two could talk," The nurse explains.  
"Is he?" Frank cautiously asks. Nodding, Margaret explains, "He just got out of a bad break up. I figured you both could talk things out together, if you want."  
"Tell me about him," Frank answers causing his friend to smile. She tells him what Donald is like, and permits Frank to write him before she heads off to her shift in Post Op.  
"Captain, I need a word with you for a moment," Margaret announces as professionally as possible before leading her husband somewhere private.  
"Why Nurse, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Hawkeye flirts once her realizes they are behind a curtain. Rolling her eyes, Margaret takes out a letter from her coat pocket and hands it to him. Looking at it, the surgeon asks, "Who's this from?"  
"Donald Penobscott. He agreed to help us. The rest is explained in the letters I gave you," Margaret replies knowing they need to get back to work. Hawkeye kisses his wife on the cheek in thanks before putting the letter in his own pocket and going to check on a patient.  
Over the next few months, Donald and Frank exchange letters with Margaret as their go between. In the middle of winter while the weather is two below zero, Hawkeye and Margaret are put on duty together. Although the time is not ideal, the couple enjoys the small window of time together. What Hawkeye is against is Frank lingering around after his shift to complain about a patient. Finally, the couple hear Frank state, "'Major, Captain, I'll leave you two to carry on.'"  
Margaret and Hawkeye glare at him before going back to their work. The rest of the night is filled with shelling and an ill patient. Just as soon as the pair is able to treat the soldier, the shelling stops. Relieved and a little giddy due to the newest events, the couple laughs and Hawkeye offers to share his midnight snack of canned beans. They turn to the can just in time for it to explode. When the explosion is over, Hawkeye notes that most of the beans land on Margaret's face. As they both laugh, Hawkeye uses his finger to scrape the beans off his wife's face.  
"'1943. A very good year for beans'," The surgeon remarks before taking another taste. After the third time, he holds his finger up to his wife stating, "Here, try some."  
Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "I tasted it already. Besides, I'd rather get cleaned up."  
After cleaning up in the scrub room, the nurse goes back to her job. Finally getting off duty around 6 a.m., Margaret wearily enters her tent. Shocked by the explosion of letters littering the area, Margaret stares at Frank in shock surprised that he actually ransacked her things. She mentions keeping all of Donald's letters for him, but is appalled that the man will actually search for them. He gives her some excuse about looking for a pen when she quickly orders him out. Grumbling as she picks up the paper, Margaret never hears her husband enter. Only when the door slams does she look up.  
"I thought you were going to sleep," Margaret asks as she puts the letters back in their box. Shaking his head, Hawkeye answers, "Can't sleep. I tried. What's with all the letters?"  
"Frank decided to ransack my tent for private letters I kept for him."  
"What are they bank statements?" Hawkeye teases. Rolling her eyes, Margaret answers, "No. They're of a personal nature."  
Deciding not to delve into his wife's and Frank's relationship, the surgeon changes the subject.  
"My dad asked how Donald is," Hawkeye smirks enjoying how much fun his father is having with the ruse.  
"He's fine. Tell Daniel thank you for writing those letters for me. I just hope we can keep fooling people."  
"Me too. As much as I hate being here, I'd hate to be here without you."  
"I would, too."  
The couple shares a look before Hawkeye bids her goodnight.  
"You could always stay. I know a way to generate heat," Margaret offers. A smile playing from his lips, Hawkeye reluctantly shakes his head.  
"The last thing I need is B.J. finding out. I already have my suspicions about Ferret Face."  
Margaret merely hums in reply knowing she cannot show her hand. She hates keeping this secret from Hawkeye, but is either too loyal or too stupid a friend to betray Frank's secret. The couple says their good nights before falling asleep in their own beds.

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